What is the meaning in a dream of haggard

A voyeur to a group of people on the beach sunbathing nearest the rocks, the waves are crass, i am spying through binoculars. hummingbirds fly around my head like magic, im ecstatic but my friend berates me, the colorful birds start trying to peck out my eyes, so i cover my face, blindly walking and be lead along by the same friend. my sister and i are going to go swimming, but neither own a bathing suit, i try to cut some clothes as makeshift, but they are ill-fitting and i am exposed, my sister acts a bystander a question, then something about being plus sized. some mention of vampires, trying to figure out who the culprit is, who's the one who's been feeding.. i picture a man's face, he looks haggard and bestial. the ocean.. later i am in a stuffy old waiting room, and what seem to be hallucinations of cutesy cartoons muck about. someone speaks of darkness, and then apologizes.. crone?

My ex boyfriend was with his wife she seemed haggard. They were sitting with one another. They seemed sad, disappointed w/ each other.

White haggard distance