Understand My Dreams

Dreams trusting

I dreamt that I discovered I had an adopted brother and sister my entire life, but my parents had never introduced them as that to us so I never realised. It happened really suddenly that I was at home in New Cross, in my room but as an adult, and I think I'd heard some news story about adoption and it had made me think- I wish I had adopted siblings. And all of a sudden it came over me that I did. I'd had an adopted brother this whole time and I had never realised / put 2 and 2 together. I collapsed in tears of joy and sadness at the same time. I ran to where my mum and sister Joanna were tidying away clothes and tried to help and ask questions but I could barely function. My adopted brother was there too - he was a tall, handsome Asian man, very gentle and kind. I asked my mum and dad questions - it turns out they adopted two children, a Polish girl (who was not as close, a difficult adoption it seemed) and this Asian boy, who we had always grown up with and never questioned why. I asked my dad why they never explained to us: "because your mother said you children might not accept / try to sabotage them if you saw them as competition, so decided it was better to not say anything at all." This was classic my parents' approach to parenting- not trusting the kids and keeping their own confidences. I ran away from the room and as I ran I kept collapsing in floods of tears. My whole sense of being and understanding of who I was felt shaken, but I was also overwhelmed with love and affection for this sibling I had never recognised as such. The whole time he was there, quietly and gently present, aware of the emotional roller coaster I was going through and I had hugged him many times in tears already, and apologised for not knowing sooner. I ran upstairs - collapsing in piles of tears alof the way - back to my bedroom where he was in the bed and threw myself into his arms in the darkness and in my tears. I woke up then, not 100% sure if the love I expressed in that moment was more than that for a brother. It was possibly the relief of finding a soul mate. I dreamt this after an argument with my brother who earlier that day said he could not help me / give me advice about my relationship with Ben. I was very hurt and cried a lot - similarly completely overwhelmed / isolated. I felt quite betrayed by him in that moment. He has always been my closest confidante.

At times i wish i could read people better, it feels like I'm slowly losing my ability to think clearly on certain things. Or is it because i start trusting the wrong people I'm not sure truthfully. I know that there something on my mind subconsciously since my dreams which are always very vivid and detailed have been progressively getting worse in the sense of me being torn in to parts and dying not to mention all of my friends and family all but my girl friend why is that? In all these dreams i wake up to me either tearing up or the feeling of emptiness.

In the beginning the dreamer’s ex- boyfriend Andy and the dreamer were talking and having a friendly conversation on a dark green low deck that was even with the ground and attached to the house. The deck belonged to his father. In real life the deck on his father’s, Earls, house is actually 20 feet off the ground. It was winter time during the daylight. The leaves were fallen off the trees and the dreamer and Andy were wearing coats. His dad comes out of the door onto the porch. Then a dark haired man walks over from the driveway who must have known us because he said “We’ve got trouble coming now.” A very trusting friend of Earl’s who in real life has just married and moved away comes running towards him, screaming and crying. Next another male, her husband in real life comes up suddenly screaming “I know she loves you!” The commotion distracts the dreamer and next thing she knows Andy is throwing a punch at the husband to defend his father. Earl, the husband and Andy are all fighting in a pile on the porch and the dreamer is trying to stop them by screaming at them. The dream ends here.

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