Understand My Dreams

Dreams heart

My husband passed away almost 7 years ago. Ever since then, and even now I regularly dream terrible nightmares about him not being dead, it was all a mistake and he's cheating on me. And, I can literally feel it breaking my heart. Then the rest of the dream I'm chasing him down pleading with him to stop this. It's awful. I really wish I'd quit dreaming these horrible dreams. I always think to myself, why haven't I ever had even one good dream about him. We never had problems during our marriage concerning fidelity, that's why I just do not understand this.

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The first part of my dream went like this. I was a sheriff's deputy driving on a dirt road when suddenly I stopped at a train yard, just outside the main entrance of it which was closed off by a wire gate. To my right were three sandstone pillars with small squares set into them. When I looked at them four chuckles appeared inside the circles as if some invisible hand was drawing them. Out of nowhere a car I recognized but couldn't remember where it was from blasted through the gate and hit a red train car from the side. I don't know why but I got this extremely hostile feeling and I drove up and rammed the other car from behind, trapping the driver there. A few moments of us playing reverse tug of war and suddenly the train car tips over and completely crushes the other car, a pool of blood appearing beneath the driver side. There was a small window near the top of the train car where many people's hands were trying to reach out. Their hands were gray and dirty in color. The very next thing I remember was now I was a German Shepherd with an injured front leg. The only reason I know that is because as the German Shepard half of my experience was in third person and the other half was first person. My experience as a cop was all first person. Anyway, three really dirty, gray skinned men show up. Im still in the train yard, just inside of some sort of two story warehouse. The outside was made out of some rusting sheet metal while the inside rooms and floors were made out of what looked like fresh plywood. The three men are pushing and shoving their way up some stairs frantically, and I follow them with my injured leg. They mention something about staying in the light or "they'll" get you, so I decided to take that advice to heart even though they weren't even talking to me. There were small lit candles just up the stairs that surprisingly illuminated about a meter's worth of space very brightly. The three men disappeared or simply went out of sight while I went towards the candles. By now I'm in one corner of the warehouse. To my right I'm looking inwards towards an empty room with a candle that's illuminating it entirely and I suddenly feel freezing cold. I bolt into that room as fast as I can and huddle into a corner. Just as I turn back around I see a long, scrawny hand and arm laying just outside my room, followed by a huge, dense cloud of fog. I'm in a third person view right now, and can see hundreds of similar hands, each with long needle like claws protruding from the finger tips. I start panicking and then I wake up.

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In a function type room with pews, you sat up the front which looked like the front of a ship. Alex and Rory were there. They were saying goodbye to you as you were going on an adventure. The people sitting in pews looked like a congregation, cheering and crying for you. Rory sat in front of you and was opening an ice cream packet, you opened one and gave it to him and he did the same. It wasn't ice cream, they were fish on a stick, covered in chocolate. You and Rory hugged and then you had a gold knuckle sign that said BAD MOTHER pointed straight at me, you were laughing and didn't look at me at all. My sisters Tanya and Rachael were there. Tanya wanted to be seen so she grabbed a large white box and stood on a woman's head, then the box so she could feel seen. I climbed up the pew a bit, stretching my arms out to feel free. I felt sad. All the books were dropped all over the floor and I walked away. Jemma met me at the door and we gave each other a hug and I told her I loved her. Then she said she had never loved anyone properly her whole life. I felt said and glassy eyed again and said "I have" and started walking. We then stopped and I started to cry. "I would travel around the world twice, just to find him" I said. Two hands swept over my eyes, but just before that happened I saw Jemma smile at something behind her. The hands felt large and so did the frame standing behind me. I knew it was him, I know his hands and the feel of them on my skin. Heart pounding, I slowly turned around... Then I woke up.

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