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Seeing my husband getting a blow Job and I am not upset

March 05, 2025

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March 24, 2025

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I'm Nigerian and Igbo, I had a dream that all the Igbos in the State I was staying in right now(an igbo State) and, actually everybody, even non Igbos were being told we could no longer stay in our homes for some reason and to pack no more than 4 bags each of all our stuff and to come to a location and drop our luggage in a line, that the government would have them taken to new residence and use it to assign us to them. I think? Or something. And that we were not allowed to hold on to our luggage, that we *had* to put it down on the line, then go take a seat for the large state wide conference being held and listen to what the governor of the state had to say. The tension lay in the fact that throughout the stress of packing with the family I was living with in the dream (my cousins and aunty), entering a vehicle, and driving to the mandated location, I was terrified that this was actually a genocide. I kept on begging my Aunty and cousins to consider that this might be a genocide, or to flee the state and put our luggage in a relatives house in a neighboring state. They did not listen until the last possible moment, when I thought up and suggested the latter, by then we had already reached and dropped our luggage, and a female army soldier had appeared nearby and was watching us, so we had to leave it be. Another thing is on the drive there we would see things that in the logic of the dream, could have pointed to this being a genocide. One being a tree that we passed that may or may not have been a species that "usually" grew due to the circumstances that could be caused by a pogrom in dream logic, eg excess blood in the soil or the smoke of burnt human remains in the atmosphere or something like that. But it was never spoken out loud only suspected, so whether this was true in the dream isn't certain. secondly on 2 occasions I would see hills in the distance just absolutely *covered* in trash, sometimes with small piles of trash burning. And i would suspect whether the trash was actually the belongings and luggage we were submitting to the federal government. This one out of fear for such an outright confirmation was kind of doubted immediately by me. When sitting down for the conference, closest to the stage where the governor was speaking, a Hausa man in this dream, it was at a point where it was kind of up to the mechanics of my brain whether this dream would turn out to be something else or indeed a genocide. And in the dream I was either subconsciously or consciously but partially aware of this fact, it was why the 3 instances of evidence for genocide were being doubted with hope in the first place. So every word the governor would say had me on the edge of my seat hoping my dream would come in and provide a different explanation, soon a different scenario. One of the bases of my hope being the blatantly lower class Hausa people also standing around in the crowd because they live in the state too so had also been forced to leave their homes. Because in real life such drastic antagonistic action would never be taken with their own tribe in the direct crossfire. Either the Hausas in the government favoured their population, or betrayed them class-wise in a way that could be spun as justifiable. Anyways it was during this speech that I woke up. My heart was pounding so hard I expected it to be painful and causing some other physical reaction (the same way stomach aches are accompanied by nausea and a need to defecate). It got under control though, and I immediately started typing this.

March 18, 2025

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Dream of job, new, waiting

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