Dream of hanging, numbers

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I am hanging out with my old school friends. i have a crush on my ex crush, who is a friend of my olde friends. my crush calls and i answer with my old friend's phone he recognises my voice and then somehow he rejects me by telling his friends that he was not interested in the past too and neither is in the present. while speaking on the phone he's sitting in a room which looks well set up and has gaming facilities also a bean bag. he says he could have used me for fun but didn't so i should stop trying. and then i cry a lot sitting behind him in a bench like in a classroom. then a after some time he turns around and says 'oh stupid, you likes me?" and i keep crying and ignoring him packing up my bag to leave. but i think he w

January 25, 2024

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Suicide of father by hanging

January 13, 2024

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I was walking towards the dark school dressing room and when i entered i felt weak and dizzy. Then a boy with blonde hair, light eyes, a white suit with headphones around his neck appeared to my right side while i was hanging my jacket and seemed concerned about me. While I was still hanging my jacket, this girl from my class appeared to my left side and she complimented me, it was something to do with my clothing possibly, I didnt hear her so i asked her to repeat herself and she said "I wasn't complimenting your face, youre ugly" she said it with a smile. In the corner of my eye i saw my crush come in the dark dressing room. After i saw some of my make classmates come in the dressing room. Then a balck screen appeared for a milisecond. The dressing room had a warm light and there wasnt anyone in the dressing room except from two guys in the dressing room who seem to be fighting about something both guys had dark hair but one was taller than the other. I was witnessing everything while i was I was sitting on a big comfy pillow seat and a guy from my class appeared to my right side and saw my confused expression and smiled, he started explaining why they were fighting, and the reason involved something to do with someones brother having autism, after he told me i felt enlightened for some reason. it was probably a lesson for me and he helped me realise something in my life. Then a balck screen appeared for a milisecond again. the dressing room had a warm light and I was sitting on the same big comfy pillow seat and there were a lot of unfamiliar people inside the dressing room and i caught a glimpse of my crush. On the big comfy pillow i was sitting on, a few seats away i saw the same blonde boy who was concerned about me and i saw other guys and one east asian guy with glasses sitting with the blonde boy. Then a boy with a grey zip up hoodie, with brown short hair, hazel eyes, slightly tan skin came in and hugged the blonde boy and he also hugged me, it was kind of a group hug, and i told him i didnt know him and he said he doesnt matter he still wanted to hug me, i didnt know any of the boys including the blonde boy or his group, as a matter of fact, i didnt know anyone in the dressing room except my crush who was in the background. Then the grey hoodie guy sat between me and the blonde boy and i leaned on the guy with the grey hoodie's shoulder while he was playing some game on his phone and chatted with the blonde boy and the other guys, but despite leaning on the grey hoodie guy's shoulder, i was ignored by him and the other guys. Then in my dream it cut to this fantasy land that included the grey hoodie guy, blonde guy, the east asian guy with glasses & the rest of the guys running around the candy field freely and happily while i was recording them from the sky, kind of like in a movie.

December 24, 2023

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