Understand My Dreams

Dreams light

I was hanging out with Johnathan at the football field again like I did last night, and he and I were getting closer than we’ve been and started talking and Landon and I had gone together because he and I were apparently really close and he left to do something. He finally showed up again and we were just hanging out with him and later he drags me away and pushes me under the bleachers and left me there and im yelling “Landon, you cant leave me here!” And he yelled back “you’ll be fine!” So I yell back to him “you know I can just leave, right?!” And he yells back to me “you’re not allowed to leave yet!” And he walks away. He comes back a few minutes later dragging Johnathan who’s asking where I went and Landon pushes him under the bleachers with me and leaves us. And Johnathan yells at him “Landon, you cant just leave us here!” And Landon yells back “Yeah I can!” And I yell at him “Landon, you cant leave me here!” And he yells back “Yeah I can! You came here with me so yeah I can!” And I just stop and stare at him and turn to Johnathan and look at him to see his reaction. And Landon stops and turns around and yells “Yall cant leave yet so yall stay under there until yall figure out how to settle the tension between the both of yall!” And he leaves us there and Johnathan just stares after him and I look up at Johnathan and he turns to me and stared at me for a minute before he asked “What was that about?” And I shook my head and didnt say anything and walked over to one of the poles holding the bleachers up and leaned against it. He turned to watch where I was going and followed me and stood in front of me. I asked him “You got your vape?” And he nodded and pulled it out. “Can I…” I started before he interrupted me. “You shouldnt but I’ll let you.” He said and he handed me the vape. We just started talking while we vaped and after a few minutes I got tired of vaping and looked at him and asked “Johnathan do you like anyone?” And he just stared at me and stated laughing slightly but said “Uh yeah. I like someone.” So I asked him “Who?” And he said “Cant say.” And I just looked at him and said “Why not?” And he said “Because I cant tell you.” And I asked “Why cant you tell me? It’s not like I can say anything or tell anyone. Why would I? Do you not trust me?” And he looked at me and said “Katie, it’s not that I dont trust you or think you’ll tell anyone, it’s that I’m honestly scared of what you’ll think and say.” I just look up at him and look into his eyes and reach out my hand and touch his shoulder and say “Johnathan, whatever it is, whoever it is, I wont say anything bad about them.” And he looks down at me and walks closer to me and I back up a little and he says “Fine. You wanna know who it is?” And I nod and he says “It’s you, Katie. I like you.” And I stare at him in shock and after a minute I say “Johnathan, why? Why do you like me? Im not pretty, confident, popular, or anything. Im below average height for a fourteen year old. Im underweight for an average fourteen year old. And nobody really likes me….” I start before he interrupts me and says “I do, Katie! I like you! I don’t care that you’re not popular or confident or that you’re below average height or underweight for an average fourteen year old! You’re beautiful Katie! And I like you! Ok?! I like you!” And I just stared at him because with each word he stepped closer to me and I stepped back. I looked at him and said “Johnathan, im not beautiful. Im not. Nobody thinks i am anyway.” He slid his arms around my waist and held me close to him and looked at me and said “You are beautiful, Katie. You are absolutely beautiful. I think you’re beautiful. Whoever doesn’t think you are is just jealous.” And he looked at me and stared into my eyes and leaned down to whisper in my ear and whispered “I really like you Katie.” And I just shook my head and said “Johnathan, no you dont. You think you do but you dont. Nobody likes me. Nobody should like me anyway. Especially you. I just end up hurting the people I love and care about. You dont….” I started but he interrupted me by pushing me against the pole we were leaning against earlier and towering over me and said “I do. I. Like. You. Katie. I like you.” And as he said this his eyes kept flickering from my eyes to my lips and I nodded when I got what he was silently asking. He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine softly and then I pressed my lips against his more firmly and he slid his arms around my waist and gripped my hips and I slid my arms around neck and leaned up and he pushed me against the pole more to keep me from falling. When we pulled away for air, we were both panting and he looked down at me and into my eyes and I looked up at him and into his eyes and he said “Katie, I do like you. So please stop saying I dont and that nobody likes you because I like you and you are beautiful. And I want to ask, will you be my girlfriend ?” And I just stare him and nod because im at a loss for words after the kiss. We then hear someone clear their throat and look over and see Landon standing there with an amused but unhappy look. He looks at us and says “That’s not exactly what I had in mind when I said figure out what to do about the tension between yall but it works.” And I blush and hide my face in Johnathan’s chest and he laughs and so does Landon. Johnathan looked down at me and smiled and Landon looked us and looked at Johnathan and said “Yall are cute together but if you hurt her it wont end well!” And Johnathan looked up at him and nodded. Landon walked up to us and hugged me and said he’d be back later and that Johnathan and I could leave from under the bleachers now.

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Called ex about concert tickets. Shows up to where he’s at with Another ex’s sister at a Concert. Fell into the toilet in the bathroom. Some lady gave me a white wristband. Some other lady stole my shoe and I knocked her out. Tyler, Briana and I tried to run from the cops. They left me behind and locked the cage door. I ran circles in the cage while there was an animal in the cage after me while lights shown on me and I was being watched . Black I think. Started jumping the fence to get away but jumped it over and over and over a lot of times.

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I don’t know where I was but i know like half of the 9th grade or all of the 9th grade was there. So something was going on with all of the 9th graders and we were all NEEDY and there were some people there that were trying to help us. I refused to let them help me. Some of the girls and very few of the guys begged someone to help them and very few would help. So after a while of my suffering and begging some of the boys (Seth, JC, John Emerson, McCade, Ethan Hartfield, and River) to help me, Kaylyn and Elizabeth came up to me and started talking to me about what they did to satiate their neediness. They kept telling me about how they ate each other out. Elizabeth offered to help me and I’m like “No, Im good. Thanks though” and they walked away and I slid down the wall I was leaning against. So I sit there for awhile and I hear three voices coming toward me so I stood up and looked toward where the voices were coming from. I saw Braedon and two men walking toward me. I looked at Braedon and he looked at me and stopped walking. He just stared at me and I stared back at him and the two men that were with him asked where was the person he wanted and if I was the person he wanted and he nodded. So they left and he walked up to me and took his shirt off and I looked away and he walked up to me and pushed me against the wall and whispered to me “we don’t have to do this. Just tell me a-and I’ll stop. I-I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Jus-just tell me, ok?” and I nodded and he kissed my cheek and pulled my shirt off and he set his hands on my hips and my arms went around his neck and he kissed me. He then asked if I was ok and if I wanted him to continue and I didn’t say anything and he completely stopped and caused me to whine. He looked at me and slightly smiled and said “Kat, I’m not gonna do anything if don’t want me to. But I need you to tell me so I don’t make you uncomfortable or go too far. Please. I need you to tell me. Cause if I continue, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop” and I nodded and begged him “Please Braedon. Please. I need you. You wont make me uncomfortable, I promise. Just please continue” and he nodded and kissed me again and kept going. As he continued, he would ask me every once in a while if I was ok or wanted him to stop and I would say that I was fine and didn’t want him to stop. So he continued and eventually he went all the way and I was ecstatic. He didn’t mean to but he started leaving hickeys on my neck that I knew I would have to hide later. Wen we finished he was so sweet and kept asking if I was ok and kept helping me. So about 15 minutes after we had finished, he was being slightly clingy but it was cute. So later we were somewhere, I think it was the elementary school cafeteria, and Leasie and Kylie were there. So Braedon and I walked in and sat down and Kylie was talking 50 miles a minute. Leasie came up to us and asked us what was up with us and we just blushed and didn’t say anything. So Leasie asked “Did you two fuck?” and I just look at her and say “LEASIE MAE DAVIS?!” and she’s just like “What?” and I look over at Braedon and he was blushing very hard and was shaking his head and I’m just like “You can’t ask people that but n-no we didn’t” and she’s like “oh” and I’m like “go bother your brother and Mady. And take Kylie with you” so she does and I look at Braedon and we leave.

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