Understand My Dreams

Dreams rabbit

I live in a suburban neighborhood and there is a bike trail through the back, there are woods and a river you can walk back too, but so much unexplored area back there. I was back there by the river and my boyfriend came back there, but to get to me he had to drop down an embankment to reach me. He wanted me to go somewhere with him, but I told him no, that I was busy, climbed the embankment and left him there. The next thing I know Im waking up in my room and I see my mom and I ask her "where is Izzy?" (my boyfriend ). She told me he is dead. kinda see in my mind him surrounded by three guys with guns, in the woods where I last saw him. He ended up getting shot and left there, and an ambulance couldnt get to him in time. I instantly thought that if I had went with him or stayed that I couldve called the ambulance and saved him in time. but I wasnt and now he is gone. I could kinda picture him laying dead in a morgue somewhere but I wasnt allowed to go see him for some reason. I remember feeling lost and utterly alone and endless amounts of crying to where it hurt so bad (this dream felt extremely real). He is from miami and was for some reason living with me in MD. Next in my dreamt I checked the obituary, there was a full page for him and a picture of his family, but the picture was blown up so big and fuzzy and it made me sad that the quality was bad. Underneath it said his name , both date to date of death, and something his family wrote along the lines of "this will make our family stronger". His family wouldnt talk to me and I realized I would never see them again. I was surrounded with the feeling that I would never see him again or be with him again and it killed me and I wanted to die, I was screaming and crying to someone (Im not sure who it was, I couldnt see their face) saying "I was going to marry him! We were happy! We were going to be together forever! I love him!". The next thing I knew I was walking around Walmart with my boyfriend and no one could see him, I felt a little bit of happiness but was still sad, we walked by halloween costumes and I remember seeing a big pink rabbit costume. He said to me "are you happy?" and I told him "not really" and he said" well I dont know Ashleigh, this is the best I can do" and I was so overwhelmed with a feeling of being forever alone and missing him so bad and wanting him so bad. It was one of the realest feeling dreams I have ever had.

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