Understand My Dreams

Dreams i know

I have been having dreams about my old friends from the place I used to live a couple years back. I spotted them at a school assembly of some sort, along with my brother in the crowd and sitting next to him was my ex-crush. I saw that my old friends were in the middle of the stage, way behind the principle (where they shouldn't be) yet no one was bothered by this, so I nervously walked up to them wondering what they would think of me and if would recognize me. My bubbly past friend Brooke looked me up and down- then hugged me so hard and began laughing and crying. My other old friend Miranda was happy that she met me again, but refused to hug me. Later on, after we were talking and listening to the assembly- then Miranda quietly said across the entire school gym assembly "You look familiar, what's your name?" to my ex-crush. And somehow, everyone in the gym heard her and my ex crush answered. But it was not even his full real name. His last name was different. Next thing I know the assembly is coming to an end, and I saw Miranda wearing the scarf that my ex-crush had on. I told Brooke I didn't know how I felt about that, and she began consoling me. Then that's really all I can recall.

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I live in a suburban neighborhood and there is a bike trail through the back, there are woods and a river you can walk back too, but so much unexplored area back there. I was back there by the river and my boyfriend came back there, but to get to me he had to drop down an embankment to reach me. He wanted me to go somewhere with him, but I told him no, that I was busy, climbed the embankment and left him there. The next thing I know Im waking up in my room and I see my mom and I ask her "where is Izzy?" (my boyfriend ). She told me he is dead. kinda see in my mind him surrounded by three guys with guns, in the woods where I last saw him. He ended up getting shot and left there, and an ambulance couldnt get to him in time. I instantly thought that if I had went with him or stayed that I couldve called the ambulance and saved him in time. but I wasnt and now he is gone. I could kinda picture him laying dead in a morgue somewhere but I wasnt allowed to go see him for some reason. I remember feeling lost and utterly alone and endless amounts of crying to where it hurt so bad (this dream felt extremely real). He is from miami and was for some reason living with me in MD. Next in my dreamt I checked the obituary, there was a full page for him and a picture of his family, but the picture was blown up so big and fuzzy and it made me sad that the quality was bad. Underneath it said his name , both date to date of death, and something his family wrote along the lines of "this will make our family stronger". His family wouldnt talk to me and I realized I would never see them again. I was surrounded with the feeling that I would never see him again or be with him again and it killed me and I wanted to die, I was screaming and crying to someone (Im not sure who it was, I couldnt see their face) saying "I was going to marry him! We were happy! We were going to be together forever! I love him!". The next thing I knew I was walking around Walmart with my boyfriend and no one could see him, I felt a little bit of happiness but was still sad, we walked by halloween costumes and I remember seeing a big pink rabbit costume. He said to me "are you happy?" and I told him "not really" and he said" well I dont know Ashleigh, this is the best I can do" and I was so overwhelmed with a feeling of being forever alone and missing him so bad and wanting him so bad. It was one of the realest feeling dreams I have ever had.

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A guy I know came to a friends house. They wanted to watch a movie. He and I ended up spooning and then my parents walked in. I introduced them and they liked him and we went back to cuddling. My friends phone rang so her and I had to leave, we walked over a hill but then she had to leave so I was by myself. Then then John came and got me saying he wanted to walk me home. He walked me to my house and told me goodnight. Then he sat down in a restaurant and I joined him saying I wasn't all that tired yet. We had dinner and then he walked me to my room. I told him goodnight and that I was cold. John told me he would keep me warm and company for the rest of the night.

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