Understand My Dreams

Dreams pain

My mom took me to the doctor and he told me I was so sick that there was no point in me living. He gave me a cyanide pill and told me to swallow it. He said that it would kill me in exactly 12 seconds. He wanted me to take it then, but my mom convinced him to let us wait a bit so I could say bye to people. The doctor also told us that the pill would give me intense stomach pains before I died and I didn't want that. So we spent a long time trying to find a way to prevent that from happening. The rest of the day I said goodbye to people, and did a lot of crying. I also kept Jesus Christ in my mind, thinking about what it would be like to see him so soon. In real life, I finally repented and stopped doing a certain sin, so in my dream I felt almost happy, like I had no regrets and was so excited to see my Lord and Savior. I woke up before I ever took the pill.

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So last night I had a dream that I saw my ex girlfriend of 6 months at a restaurant. (Like a Denny's or Red Lobster) I tried to shield my kid brother and direct him passed her but I gave in and started talking to her. She seemed to try and not pay me any attention. Almost annoyed; and she looked different from what I remembered, almost older and a tad bit ugly. (Like an anorexic chain smoker of 40 years look.) It kinda fuzzy but I think I told her that im sorry and that I still loved her and her new Boyfriend who I never met and for some reason was Asian appeared. He didn't say anything just was silent behind her left shoulder.He had this aura about him as if he wanted to fight me. She then began to tell me when I feel the emotional pain, when I cant go any longer when I get so low to the point of me wanting to kill myself, then I will know or understand. O.o I woke up this morning and I was almost late to class. Any help?

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