Understand My Dreams

Dreams kids

Met online friend irl and she made me watch a CGI cartoon movie titled "A Streetcar Named Desire" ...it started with siblings singing a song about asses. i remember feeling like i wished the experience I was having were real. the movie was awful, though. at some point in the dream, i was back home and really upset about school. she had came and comforted me after a bad interaction with a teacher who was also a cop. this teacher accused me of being disrespectful and it made me get aggressive. I dreamed I smashed the wall in EJ's room out of anger, using his computer to do it. i stopped when Mak screamed out of fear. this is where i woke up. at some point in the dream i had made a cake while my mom did. she complimented it. felt proud of myself for making it. another reason I was angry is because i was in an english class. we had to annotate notes of our peers and this person had told me i spelled "patronize" wrong even though i didn't, and thought all of my points were wrong and was horrible about it. this is why i smashed EJ's wall. another thing i felt was guilt because i ranted about online friend ghosting me days before she made me watch that movie with her. she also wanted me to come see another one. she said we'd meet up at 9-9 on Sunday. I interpreted this as 9:09. at some point in the movie, there was this principal with a fork for a head. he did something that accidentally upset the kids and they all hate him. but it's possible he was egotistical all along. he called himself sexy.

I was inside a big house with other people I do not know who they are. Suddenly a despairing feeling aroused from within me and I was telling everyone present to evacuate and go into a room that was part of that house. As we were inside that room which was small compared to the house, it had one big long window with nothing to cover it and it was all the way up of the beggining of the wall. So outside of the house a flood was happening but there was no people just us, is like if we where at a ranch far away or something but the flood was hapoening with a poisonous chemical that looked like water and greenish at the same time and if it touched you it would decompensate you. Eventually I got all the kids out from that window and into a safe sirface and I was the last in that room with two puppies I do not know and a mans dead body which we accidentally killed by defending our own lifes from him. By then the chemical had enter the room and I was floating on an air matress almost touching the ceiling holding both puppies waiting for the chemical to destroy what was left of the room with me in the middle of it trying to survive with the two puppies.

I dreamt that I discovered I had an adopted brother and sister my entire life, but my parents had never introduced them as that to us so I never realised. It happened really suddenly that I was at home in New Cross, in my room but as an adult, and I think I'd heard some news story about adoption and it had made me think- I wish I had adopted siblings. And all of a sudden it came over me that I did. I'd had an adopted brother this whole time and I had never realised / put 2 and 2 together. I collapsed in tears of joy and sadness at the same time. I ran to where my mum and sister Joanna were tidying away clothes and tried to help and ask questions but I could barely function. My adopted brother was there too - he was a tall, handsome Asian man, very gentle and kind. I asked my mum and dad questions - it turns out they adopted two children, a Polish girl (who was not as close, a difficult adoption it seemed) and this Asian boy, who we had always grown up with and never questioned why. I asked my dad why they never explained to us: "because your mother said you children might not accept / try to sabotage them if you saw them as competition, so decided it was better to not say anything at all." This was classic my parents' approach to parenting- not trusting the kids and keeping their own confidences. I ran away from the room and as I ran I kept collapsing in floods of tears. My whole sense of being and understanding of who I was felt shaken, but I was also overwhelmed with love and affection for this sibling I had never recognised as such. The whole time he was there, quietly and gently present, aware of the emotional roller coaster I was going through and I had hugged him many times in tears already, and apologised for not knowing sooner. I ran upstairs - collapsing in piles of tears alof the way - back to my bedroom where he was in the bed and threw myself into his arms in the darkness and in my tears. I woke up then, not 100% sure if the love I expressed in that moment was more than that for a brother. It was possibly the relief of finding a soul mate. I dreamt this after an argument with my brother who earlier that day said he could not help me / give me advice about my relationship with Ben. I was very hurt and cried a lot - similarly completely overwhelmed / isolated. I felt quite betrayed by him in that moment. He has always been my closest confidante.

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