Understand My Dreams

Dreams beauty

Well, for some reason i feel this dream is part two of a previous dream i had many months ago, without any information on the previous i will continue to start from the begining of the most recent. I am at my mothers house sitting on the floor (on my knees) at the centre of the living room writing lyrics on a table the sun rays are shining through the window to my right, i acknowledge it and as i do, (sitting on the sofa, in front/ just below of the window) is the man (i believe i am in love with) sitting on the sofa. However the second i notice/recognise him i swiftly swipe up my papers in my hand and say "i cant do this anymore" and breifly run upstairs and then head to the front door. (which all previous experience of dreams that i partly remember, or contiously try to analyse, i am never able to do with ease, i.e, i struggle to control my movements, if i want to run or say something i usually am unable or lack the control that comes with the intent). The next moment i am running fast down a wide, open path in woodlands/forest, its night time, so dark but so bright? Im meaningfully 'running' through an 'army' of people walking in the opposite direction, i look behind over my left shoulder and there he is in the mist of people, walking in the same direction oblivious to everyone around him, looking back at me... seriously... not smiling, crying, not signalling for me to stop etc... just nuetral expression almost. I continue to 'run'... although by the time i turn my head back around to face the direction im 'running'... i arrive at a beach... as i arrive the beach is sort of to my left... i dont step onto the beach, i levetate, at this moment i take in all the beauty, theres almost a sense of peace and calm but excitement/impatience and i notice others are present... whilst 'noticing others' are so close on the beach i am prominently above the sand floating, no-one has noticed me, moving towards the sea. At the sea shore... i am looking in to the ripples/colour/ movement of the waves... the sound the feeling... i had no reflection but the moon did... it takes my attention from the reflection to look up, just as i do, i look back over my left shoulder once more to see, the man i believe i love has caught up, on the perimeter of the path,'steps' onto the beach and is still looking at me. no words, no action. i wake up.

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I am a frequent 'epic dreamer'; and have more recently experienced 'lucid dreams' where I can change, or manipulate, my dream to my own liking. These dreams are sweeping and beautiful, massive in scale, and can feature mountain ranges, valleys, vast moorlands, oceans, islands, lonely beaches or beautiful villages in the snow. They seem to go on for hours, uninterrupted, and I can recall every single detail for years afterwards. They all, without exception, feature an enormous house (different every time) and nearly all feature sex with an unknown man, who is always different and doesn't look like anyone I know. The house is always huge, isolated, gothic, empty, mostly derelict, with hundreds of rooms and the dream predominantly features me, either alone or with this man, discovering rooms. I am always excited, sometimes sexually exicted in these houses; somewhere in the dream is the knowledge that the house belongs to me and I'm discovering it for the first, most exciting, time, and deciding what I can do with it. I explore attics, cellars, staircases and bedrooms, but I always seems to linger for a long time by windows, gazing longingly out the the incredible view, or by enormous fireplaces, looking into the flames. Sometimes the house is truly derelict and haunted but I'm not scared, just in awe of its beauty and amount of rooms. There is always a very lucid feeling of real excitement in the dream and this usually turns to sexual excitement as the man in the dream makes his move on me. It can be incredibly intense and romantic, and the feeling stays with me for days or weeks. Sometimes years! Less frequently (once a month maybe) I feel such intense grief in a dream I wake up with my pillow wet and I'm depressed for days. Yet I never know why I was grieving. The only feeling that remains with me is that I've lost something and can never find it ever again. Sometimes in my dream I decide it's not romantic or gorgeous enough, and I can go back and change the crucial scene to my liking. I am even discussing this in my dream with myself, saying 'hang on - I could have been more heroic or powerful in that scene. Let's go back and do it again'. So I do, but improve on the outcome. All my dreams are so beautiful, and so epic in scale and emotion, that they exhaust me and real life seems very dull and ugly and unromantic in comparison.

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