Understand My Dreams

Dreams afraid

More than once, I get into my car and an elderly man gets in the backseat. He gives me requests as if I am a taxi, “Grocery store, please” or “Home, thanks”. I am never afraid of him and he seems to trust me. I seem to have an understanding that he knows I am not a taxi but that he needs my help; it makes me feel good to assist him. He seems kind and wise. At one point, I am driving a car and pulling a motorcycle behind me/it. At one point, I pull over and am walking around the outside of the vehicle; aware of the attention the car and motorcycle seem to be attracting (they are lovely and expensive). I get into the car and the old man is now directly beside me and he needs to go to the grocery store. I pull away from the curb but realize I leave the motorcycle behind me. I fret about this and think about backing up; it is not appropriately or legally parked but I realize there is oncoming traffic behind me and I will have to leave it and return to it later. The car has changed to more of a frame of a car; with metal bars giving it shape but otherwise completely exposed to the outside. I seem to be having trouble steering and directing the car; I am not entirely out of control but I feel clumsy with it. I am embarrassed that I do not remember how to get to the store the old man wants to go to and I have to ask him to remind me of the way - - he tells me to make a right at the next light and I do; this seems to trigger my memory and I suddenly realize the direction/store where we are going. At one point, we get out of the car and are in an elevator together – I do not remember if we are going up or down – only that we are on our way to the store.

We are hugging, wrapped in each others arms, feeling safe, feeling whole. The energy is so passionate, so pure and so strong that it is nearly tangible. My eyes are closed and I'm pressed up against him, feeling his heart beat, the rise and fall of his chest, his strong arms around me; I melt into him. I focus, and feel - the feeling we've known before, that we've shared before. It is a complete high, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I feel our energy transfer, as if each cell has found its reciprocal messenger, has become fully charged, and begins to transform us into a unit, more powerful and strong than two separate entities. I am just taking in the moment, so content we have found each other again, so grateful that after all we've been through, after a horrible falling out, we could see past it and identify our true feelings. I hold on to him so tightly because I want this moment to last forever, I want to absorb it all. I hold him so close, afraid to let go- as if afraid that if we should disconnect physically, we will drift apart and will have to struggle to find our way back again. My head is tucked on his shoulder, he leans his head back so I readjust and my eyes meet his. He is silent for a moment as we just connect. Our eyes are bright, full of love and life. Finally, he breaks the silence and says 'Do you realize how much I love you?' almost with a hint of sadness knowing we had lost our way. With that simple phrase, although he doesn't verbalize it, there is a mutual understanding, a mental communication that he doesn't just mean 'I love you' but also that he has missed me, that he's genuinely sorry for the hurt we both felt. I squeeze him a little tighter as the corners of my mouth curl up and slowly reveal a familiar grin, wide and pure. I reply 'Well, you came back didn't you?' We hug each other even tighter and he whispers in my ear 'I never really left'.

I saw my dead grandmother in my dream. My son, her and her husband (not my grandfather but also dead) and me were about to drive home in an old minivan I used to own. We were all leaving some kind of religious festival in Mexico. Right before getting to our van my son got a call from his father who we left years ago for physically abusing us. He is a very mean person but my son didnt sound afraid and was making plans to see him on the weekend. My grandmother only spoke to her husband to hurry him up. While we were at the festival I didn't see her or her husband at all, only until we started walking towards the van to go home.

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