Understand My Dreams

Dreams roses

1697 - There is a feeling blackness and desolation where once productivity and sense of community took place. “When I arrived, windows were closed up; tapestries covering windows. You could tell there was pillaging and evacuation with the arrival of this new emerging power. Where when I arrived, it was flourishing. The thick walled gates have been damaged. When it once smelled earthy, now is stench and filth. Now it is just a castle in the middle of nowhere with occasional lost chicken or animals running loose. 1697 KRK – ah, a stoney sectional-multi level house surrounded by cypress and pale yellow roses. The cliff drops off to one side, sloping down into the water. Deep blue water. The furniture here is not as thick and woodsy as (Lika castle) but more primitive of animal skin. There is a window that looks out into the water. Sun shines through it! Terraces looking out over cliffs. There is a small kitchen, where of, course, I love to spend time. Herbs grow in windows, and bouganvilla in pots. I don’t really feel cold, but love the smell of wood burning in a stove. When we arrived, walls were cracked and there were no potted plants of color. There is a little notch of a private cove were we dock a wooden boat. Sometimes at night, we would take a lantern and fish for silver fish. They are drawn to the light. We keep a mule for carrying provisions up. A goat. Some chickens, some pigs. Our diet is mostly fish and vegetables, cheese I make. You make cheese? I laugh, yes. Cook has been with me a long time. She has been my right and left angel wings. Lost her husband about five years ago, all knotty fingered from years of hard hard work. Never a complaint. You need to remember that we have to be discreet, in hiding. No music. No friends. Little laughter. A lot of contemplation. A time to tell my story. Sometimes, my eyes are so weighed down with the darkness of death. Here I don’t have to dress in accordance with the social status of my relations.

There was a woman with her children living with us. She was quiet and her children were pleasant. One day my husband brought her 5 red roses. I was so happy for her, I said how sweet, what a nice thing to do. The. I remembered, wait a minute that is my husband. Why is he giving you roses? I tried to catch up with him to confront him,but couldn't. Then I asked her again why is he giving you roses? She said I don't know. I believed her, but I was furious and didnt know what to think or how to handle the situation. I never was able to confront him. He ignored me said nothing and just went to work.

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