Understand My Dreams

Dreams rock

It always started with a vibrant color red slowly fading into the background, like a backdrop of evil setting the scene. Around the edges and into the corners of my vision were black shadows, the darkest I had ever seen. I entered from the left, terrified beyond measure, yet determined to get what I came for; my grandparents’ release from Hell, from the bondage of Satan himself. Nana and Papo, my paternal grandparents, would enter from the right, distraught, resigned, yet, a bit hopeful. I ran to them, hugging and kissing them. I can still feel the way my grandfather’s solid middle felt against my skinny, half-grown arms. And then there was Satan. His voice boomed over us like thunder. My heart seized with panic and sank like a rock within me as terror washed over me like an ocean’s wave. For just a moment, the three of us huddled together, Nana, Papo and me. Then, after what felt like an eternity of being frozen in fear but seconds of being comforted by the warmth of their bodies, of their love, my voice found me. I freed myself from the entanglement of their arms and knew I had to do this on my own. I demanded their freedom. I asked that they be able to return with me to my home. While I do not remember the words that roared from the scoffing voice overhead, I remember that my request was denied. Nana and Papo had to stay in Hell. There was no question about it. Then, they turned and exited back from whence they had come, resigned, saddened but willing. I screamed. I screamed their names. I screamed in protest. I screamed because of the injustice. They did not belong there. They knew Jesus. And yet, it had not been enough. In that moment, He had not been enough. That’s when I would awake in a panic, crying, hardly able to breathe. Yet another thing was out of my control. Yet another injustice was being committed and I could do nothing. My voice was not being heard. My stomach was churning as was my heart.

I was outside in an open space with my boyfriend arguing then the dream changed and I was watching the argument from a bush I pushed him with my elbow then fell on my back facing upwards where some big rocks were he came to help me but I saw my eyes slowly roll back then close. He panicked then went away. Now I was by the bush ih my friend and she caught it all on camera so I insisted we watch the footage to see if I die and he left me or if my boyfriend goes to get help and come back.

I was in an abandoned and derelict park resembling Grand Marais (which is next to Lake Superior), and it seemed to have this theme of keeping a natural look, because the trash cans were just hallowed out rocks. I walked over to a pile of debris that was likely formed by trucks pushing all these branches, leaves, and rocks on the ground all off to one side. There was some moss growing on one of the rock trash cans, and I peeled it off to reveal some old game boy color and game boy advanced games. I was really excited when I found these, because it was like a buried treasure and I was already planning on playing with them. After looking through all of them, I also saw that there was a magic the gathering deck box and a pokemon trading card game box.

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