Understand My Dreams

Dreams weed

I seem to be in a city, mind says dc, going to college. Swimming, bored. So I decide to go buy some weed. Hook up with some black dudes i had gone through before. Meet in strange graffiti out sub terrain tunnel. There is 2 of them. Other people everywhere. Get the weed, shake hands. I'm sitting on a bench and 3 more black dudes charge down the stairs. Big chrome guns catch my eye immidiately. They say, you know why we're here, to the dealers. Dead silence. They say get on the ground. I can't tell if they are talking to everyone in general or my 2 black dealers. Im becoming worried that they may think I am with them. Everybody in the tunnel lays down. I was the last to do so, very slowly, onto my side. Head towards the wall, feet towards them and slightly tucked under the bench I was sitting on. The first shot rings out, I can't see anything but I can feel sharp fragments hitting me.  Concrete?bone? Bullet? Not sure. Another shot rings out, and another. In total 12 shots ring out, all with an unnerving 2-3 second gap between them. No one screamed, nothing. I could feel the fragments and shock wave of each shot. Just the shots echoed in the tunnel. Then dead silence. I wait maybe 10 seconds before getting up. Everybody is still laying down on the ground. They only shot the 2 dealers. I exit up the stairs and into the street, holding back tears. There is a hippy girl sitting out side what I thought was the court house, or some other government building. I give her the weed.   "here" "Thank you!" "it's not worth it" I speed walk back to my college place. Go straight to the pool and jump in , letting myself float to the bottom for a long time. I ponder taking a big breath of water, but don't. I keep thinking someone is going to fish me put, but they just stand over the side and watch me. I get out of the pool and seek counsel in juniors girlfriend , who is not his girl in real life. We talk about how Scotty is in jail over herb. When josh comes in I hide my emotions and crack jokes. I wake up sweating and unnerved.

I took three sips of beer and was completely drunk and couldn't walk. i was with my boyfriend and bestfriend. he went out and cheated on me but i have no recollection of it. he came back high on weed with his best friend and i started hitting him. and at points in time i would miss. even though he cheated on me and admitted to it, i still wanted to be with him. later on i really wanted some yogurt and got upset because i could only have chips and was not allowed to wear my shoes in the house.

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