Understand My Dreams

Dreams pillow

I am a frequent 'epic dreamer'; and have more recently experienced 'lucid dreams' where I can change, or manipulate, my dream to my own liking. These dreams are sweeping and beautiful, massive in scale, and can feature mountain ranges, valleys, vast moorlands, oceans, islands, lonely beaches or beautiful villages in the snow. They seem to go on for hours, uninterrupted, and I can recall every single detail for years afterwards. They all, without exception, feature an enormous house (different every time) and nearly all feature sex with an unknown man, who is always different and doesn't look like anyone I know. The house is always huge, isolated, gothic, empty, mostly derelict, with hundreds of rooms and the dream predominantly features me, either alone or with this man, discovering rooms. I am always excited, sometimes sexually exicted in these houses; somewhere in the dream is the knowledge that the house belongs to me and I'm discovering it for the first, most exciting, time, and deciding what I can do with it. I explore attics, cellars, staircases and bedrooms, but I always seems to linger for a long time by windows, gazing longingly out the the incredible view, or by enormous fireplaces, looking into the flames. Sometimes the house is truly derelict and haunted but I'm not scared, just in awe of its beauty and amount of rooms. There is always a very lucid feeling of real excitement in the dream and this usually turns to sexual excitement as the man in the dream makes his move on me. It can be incredibly intense and romantic, and the feeling stays with me for days or weeks. Sometimes years! Less frequently (once a month maybe) I feel such intense grief in a dream I wake up with my pillow wet and I'm depressed for days. Yet I never know why I was grieving. The only feeling that remains with me is that I've lost something and can never find it ever again. Sometimes in my dream I decide it's not romantic or gorgeous enough, and I can go back and change the crucial scene to my liking. I am even discussing this in my dream with myself, saying 'hang on - I could have been more heroic or powerful in that scene. Let's go back and do it again'. So I do, but improve on the outcome. All my dreams are so beautiful, and so epic in scale and emotion, that they exhaust me and real life seems very dull and ugly and unromantic in comparison.

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Im in church with mother who past away from cancer, step dad, grandmother who im close to and who is in nursing home, step sister who i am close to. they sit down on bench in the church and i have to sit behind them cause there is no room for me to sit with them. i have two pillows and my teaddybear with me i get up cause im upset and as i walk past them i say to step sister i guess i will always be a dissapoint to u. i walk back the ile to a doorway and a room with three huge pianos and i notice two firedoors that to get to them i have to climb over a huge piano bench, so i climb over and i try first firedooe it doesnt open, i go to second firedoor and before i try opening it i hear a voice say i hope u dont put the alarm off.

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At church with mother who pasted away, step dad, grandmother who is in a nursing home, step sister who im am close to. they all sitting in a pue and there is no room for me i sit in back with two pillows and teaddybear i get up all upset and as i go pass them i look at step sister and say i guess i will always be a dissapointment to u. i walk to a doorway and inside are three giantic organs i notice two firedoors, but to get to them i have to climb over the huge piano benchs, so i climb over and try opening first firedoor wont open s i go to sec. firedoor and i hear someone say i hope u dont put the alarm off.

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