Dreams race

I’m washing dishes. There are so many dishes. And they fall into the water and splash me. I’m soaked. I put them back on the shelf above the sink and continue to wash dishes. It’s like there’s more and more and more. They keep falling into the water. There’s an older couple that show up and they start doing chores together. I watch them and it’s like a dance. It’s graceful and they clean in no time together. And I’m still at the sink doing the dishes that never end. I’m in a church. In a very back pew. I’m not a member of this church. Everyone is standing up for communion and they head downstairs for communion and come back up. I couldn’t watch the communion like at other churches. And I have to let people by just like a Catholic Church as they pile out. I see some friends and walk to the house across the road from the church. It’s Michelle’s moms house. Place that is so old and in ruins. A little fuzzy in the middle But some guy says Blake is engaged. I think he’s suggesting Blake is engaged to him. The girl I’m with I’m like… is Blake engaged? And she says yes. I see Blake and go sit next to him. I said I hear you’re engaged. He says yes. I said congratulations. Then I say looks like you’ve proposed to everyone, everyone I’ve talked to says you proposed to them. He laughs and he’s engaged to a girl. I wanted to see her photo but didn’t ask. I didn’t ask because I realized it was because id compare her to myself and didn’t think that was fair. I asked him if he could afford a wife. The other friend says well he has a car payment now. And I thought that might even make things worse. He said yes I’m good. But the house he was living in didn’t belong to him and he couldn’t afford a house payment. He was unhappy with me. So I’m like I’ll go back to the church. There’s a pair of skates or a bicycle that I could take back to the church. He says you could take back both. And I asked how. And he says duh. You take the skates and then come back and take the bike. I looked at him and said I’m not doing that. I’ll take one. Not both. He’s saying goodbye to me and he puts his face in my breast and rubs his face back and forth. When I look down he’s moved his head to the side. Our friend noticed

My 3 children and i are standing alone in the dark outside in the mountains scared of what was coming. behind us was a small shack or cabin broken down and old. all around us was tall pine trees when i looked up i sky in a circle opening of the tree tops. dark sky with lots of stars. as we stood there waiting for something to happen all the sudden a huge tsunami wave came and as we braced our selves it hit us and we went underwater. it broke down peices of the cabin and i would grab a floating peice that broke off and put the boys on it so they could stay above water. and then it just went away. all the water went down and before you knew it we were standing there again scared waiting for it to happen. i felt helpless and scared. The tsunami came again and went away a few times. right before the dream ended i looked up in the sky to see 3 full moons side by side. very bright and big. the end

Thought i'd take my own advice for once. March18 2014. Laying here thinking. Feels like i got deported. Friends and family miss me dearly. Mom thinks im a drug addict. Telling other fam that im mixing drugs and all this non sense. I honestly don't know how my mental os remaining strong after all this shit that i been through. not a complaint. I know im still here by the Grace of God. Who am i though. People probably look at me and say. oh , there goes that corny SKINNY ass nigga daniel, Why is sharde even with him. Why did alex even date him. he's Nobody. Right. Im Nobody. I can accept this. why. because 1. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. and i believe in standing by your opinion. so If Im Such A Nobody. how About hou prove im A Nobody. Matter of fact. how About you walk in my Shoes. parents Divorced when i was like 3. Sent away by my mom 3 times. made my mother think she failed as a parent with me. Constant pressure to Succeed in something you don't even have a passion for. Judged by your family because of the decisions you make. Thats Not even Half Of It. but You still see me crack a fucking smile so you can think everything is Ok. When in actuality . its Not. Its far from Ok.

We were in another state I think and we were staying at some cabin at a lake and we were supposed to leave the next morning and we made friends while we were there. So instead of going back for the last night we all went and just explored the area all night, it was like 6 of us. And the morning came and we decided to watch the sunrise, it felt like we had all done it before so right before the sun came up we started singing amazing grace. And I had my phone out kind of selfie recording everything with the sunrise. And the sun started to peak out and then it came up quickly and then it just kept going up and then it flew back around like it had been a whole day in a flash. And I had it all on my phone and we were all freaking out like we all just saw that! And then it got dark instantly and the stars were so bright. And I saw this orange star and it was a shooting star and I was still recording and pointed to show you. You saw it too and we followed it across the sky and it started zooming and then it blew up in the sky into this big blue yellow bright dust looking thing and then all the stars came down and they were shaped like people and I kept saying I knew it and one of the people things started walking up to me and I woke up panting saying I knew it

I walk from the upper floor, where the higher years mingle, down to the 2 1/2 floor. I look into glass walled study rooms. A girl I am interested in is there. She comes out and greets me with an uncharacteristcally friendly hug. She looks excited and relieved about something. She leads me towards the stairs that lead out of the building to a beautiful sunset over neatly kept lawns. Before we can decend she is urged by someone on her research team that something needs to finalize some details before submitting. She obliges and implores me to go ahead and she will catch up. I kiss the top right corner of her face and she rushes off with her team. I turn back the way I came to the open stairs that are white, unsupported, and look like they were built to replicate orbital paths. The roof makes the building look spherical. I walk downward and see some friends. I greet them without stopping. Something is on my mind. I have some objective, but I don't know what it is. The whole building shakes and the other stairs fall. People disappear without a trace. I notice a man wearing a dark pink or extremely faded red sweater with the hood up. He seems to be bald. He has a brown and round goatee. He is standing on a scaffolding a floor above me and about 10-20 meters ahead of me. He is armed with a rifle he needs two hands to fire. He sees me and lifts the gun against his should and fast walks towards an exit that leads outside of the building. I wake up in an apartment room. The walls begin at my hips. Beneath the wall there is just a railing like on a flimsy deck. I can see the floor below me. It's a hotel lobby. It's dirty and the lights make everything a shade of piss yellow. The door has a lock, and an opaque window that takes up most of the top center. There is a second opaque window that is as tall as the door on the same side as the lock on the door. Someone in the lobby came and asked about me. I lay down and pretend to be asleep since they could see me if I was standing. The man at the desk points to my room. The man asking about me is dressed in all black and is wearing a comically large brimmed hat with a red feather. He pulls a 2 meter long weapon from his suit case and aims it towards where he thinks I am sleeping and fires. It's less than a few inches from my head. The whole pours out light, white debris, and doves mixed in with both. I roll frantically, open my door and run as fast as I can away from the lobby. I exit the back door and see a bowling alley. People are bowling and buying booze. I am a little flabberghasted because just the night before it was a theatre. I remember following a young woman in a purple dress outside. She was crying, her boyfriend commanded her into the car. It was an expensive looking car. Her hair was done up in a nice looking bun. She saw me come to her rescue and she smiled and wiped her tears away and got into the car. Regardless of last night it was currently a bowling alley. The person behind the bar was an old friend. He offered me a beer. I drank a couple sips and thanked him before running out the far door and seeing my world. I was 20 years in the past outside of a thrift store wearing a varsity jacket and remembering when this thrift store used to be a bowling alley when I was a kid.