Understand My Dreams

Dreams ointment

I'm at a party in my back yard, I go into the garage and something happens in garage and from what I know I was shot in the head…not known if accident, attempted murder or self-inflicted. Everyone is at a loss. I keep trying to talk, but no one can hear me…..except for Robert, he looks to be around 13. He and I are talking, then, I tell him I have to call Suzanne and tell her before she hears it from anyone else. She hears me fine on the phone and is very upset that I have been shot. I try to call the doctor’s office to get an appointment and they say I’m not due for one, even thought my Rx is expiring and the nurse on the other end, she then says it’s too close to your son's wedding. I look out the window and Caryle is pushing a baby stroller (she looks about 30) and on her way into the house. I make an attempt to hide. People are in and out of the house and I want them to leave. Bobby can’t hear me and Robert isn’t able to get his attention. I then realize the only people that I can connect with have already passed away.

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I was very fond of a person who has played an important part in my life. We are no more and it has been 2 years since I tried to cut off links with this person. I dream frequently about going to this person's native place which is a beautiful place, act all touristy but in reality I am hoping to meet this person. I am always with my confidant, my best friend. The place which i dream of is seldom bearing resemblance to the actual place, most often the place where this person lives is up a hill and I remember the journey to his residence as the most vivid part of the dream. I am happy about the prospects of meeting him. But never in any dream have I met him. The dream ends with my disappointment and my journey back, the vacation ending.

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I dreamt that I had been bitten by a zombie. I survived. It was a small bite. I told my husband I needed to say goodbye before the final changes took over and I began to get red vision. I understood in the dream once my vision flashed over to a red veil, I was close to turning. Until then, I was safe to be around. I desperately wanted to hold my child (2 year old son). I wanted to kiss him and cuddle him. I began to think I might be immune, and the zombie virus wouldn't take me over. But then, I began to get the red flashes. I gave my son back to my husband and told him to keep him away. I couldn't bare the thought of hurting him. And not being able to hold him was almost worst than death. My husband looked at me both with love and hate, disappointment. I was of the understanding he would be the one to kill me off. Then I woke up and got my ass out of bed... I was in such emotional despair.

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It was the day before and I was getting ready for a dance recital. I was super excited and I was getting makeup and bringing pretty clothes and everything. The next morning, my mom took me to a cafe to get me cozy before the recital. We were in a big hurry then because we were going to be late and then when I got there, I was tardy but the dance hadn't started yet. I still had time so I was relieved. Then a fellow dancer of mine was welcoming me, and some of the girls were applying makeup in front of the mirror. I thought I should follow lead, but then I realized I had forgotten something major and had to go back. So I went back and I was in this secluded place with mountains near. It was like something from an ancient folktale with mountain tribes. Then, as I was about to go into a little private shop, a few people caught my eyes. They were, like, wearing gangster clothing and they had big beards and kind of looked like hippies. Except they weren't, because I knew they were gangsters. And as they began to stomp, slowly and rhythmically, through the surroundings, I felt a sense of impending doom, and I was waiting tensely. As I waited, they finally attacked and began to shoot people down. It passed quickly, and I didn't remember much of it. When the attack had finally passed, I felt like I had just woken up from a long dream. I knew I had been subject to a shooting, but it felt really surreal. And since so many people were dead, and there was a loudspeaker talking about how people had died in this recent shooting, I was confused. Did I survive? Or was I dead and just a ghost of my former self, pretending to be alive? Anyways, I was really incredulous because I had just survived this shooting and the news had just been here and they didn't even care about what had happened to me. Then I could go back to my school, but now I had missed the recital and my teacher would be angry at me. So I went back to school for a short while and didn't let anyone see me, and I saw all the other dancers and people congratulating them and I felt disappointed I hadn't attended. But I didn't tell my mom anything and we drove to the psychiatrist because we had an appointment that day. However, I didn't want to tell the psychiatrist what happened. I just hung around the hospital lobby for awhile and the doctor at the front was staring at me. I went to the psychiatrist's office for awhile, and we talked, and then I left. Then my classmates began filing into the same hospital I was in. An alarm went off and everyone was told to remain calm and go with their heads down and their arms covering their heads. The scenery kind of morphed into a school and I felt like we were waiting to be dismissed. So anyways, suddenly all my teachers and the students of my school were there. I was bending down with a bunch of boys near me. I think they were joking around. I saw my history teacher speaking to everyone and once, I caught the head of my psychiatrist. People were telling the kids to remain calm.

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A female friend and I were driving together. I was the driver and she was in the back seat. I don't remember who the passenger was but it was my friend. Someone in the car said something funny and I used a rap alliteration to also funny. I don't remember what it was but it had a racist word in it. I could feel the disappointment as soon as I said it. It was like a crushing, suffocating fog that engulfed me. My female friend in the back seat made a phone call then asked me to drop her off up ahead.

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I was to meet my ex wife somewhere (I think a therapist or some type of mediator's office) at 1:30. On the way, people from my job started following me to support me. We were early so we went into a store. I was suddenly naked. No one seemed to notice but I was embarrassed. I found a small piece of netting material, very see-through of course and not big enough to wrap around me, but I tried to cover up with it anyway. I left the store and realized I had taken something out. Like a box of some kind of food. I worried that I had just shoplifted it by accident. I decided not to go back in and would just throw it away. I opened it and there was some kind of toy model plane or rocket inside. I thought it was neat and I would keep it. I threw the rest of the box and contents on the ground. I realized it was 1:30 exactly and went to where the appointment was. I ended up in what looked like a greenhouse or some kind of small enclosure with some mysterious old man. He was showing me squares drawn in the sand with little cubes stacked in them. He gave me two dice to roll. It was some kind of fortune telling or something like that. I rolled them and got double ones. He then explained how I had to knock down some of the stacks of cubes and where they fell determined something. I did it and he started trying to interpret the result. He was telling me that I didn't quite "make it to the center of the square" and he was trying to manipulate my results. It gets fuzzy after that.

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